Your Wife Is Your Property
This must be obvious to the idiots at CNN that came up with this article “Should your wife have guy-friends?” It never crossed their minds that perhaps husbands have female friends. But it is a huge and interesting question! Aren’t all friendships between opposite sex people fraught with sexual tension? Oh sure, as long as you assume that everybody in the world is heterosexual and unable to think with any other body part besides their genitals. I have managed, over the years, to accumulate many friendships with men and sexual tension has not developed. I must be some kind of deviant. My life partner, who is definitely not my husband or my property, doesn’t have a problem with this. It’s a good thing we didn’t get married.
But why didn’t the headline read “Should your husband have girl-friends?” I suppose no woman anywhere would or could have a problem with their husbands’ friends because we fragile girl-creatures need different rules to get by. Anyway, I just absolutely loved the advice at the end of the article. They give those great bullet points at the end to summarize the interesting bits with advice on navigating the bumpy world of platonic opposite sex friendships. It reminds me of Jerry Springer. After he entertained the crowd by mediating between warring couples throwing chairs at each other, he would give his FINAL THOUGHT and all would be right in the world. Well, CNN does the same thing. Just check out these awesome pointers:
• Don’t make ultimatums. “Trying to control another person’s behavior never works,” Jacobson says. “Try to understand the friendship, and what it’s all about.”
• Be honest. “Never lie about the time you spend with your friend,” Sabatini says. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling your husband you’re going to hang out, then maybe he has a reason to worry.”
• Socialize as a group. “Spend time with both your significant other and your friend,” Sabatini says. “And acknowledge your love for your spouse in front of your friend.”
• Set boundaries. “If you feel the friend is crossing a line, say something,” Rabhan says. “Open communication with your significant other is crucial.”
• If you feel threatened, be honest about it. “Talk to both your significant other and their friend face-to-face,” Jacobson says. “Tell them you feel left out. Don’t be accusatory or yell, just be open and honest.”
• Think positive. “As long as everybody’s on the same page, opposite-sex friends can be fantastic for a couple,” Jacobson says. “If you make your relationship too exclusive, it can become claustrophobic. I’m sure plenty of husbands would love another man to take his wife shopping or to the movies. It’s less pressure on him.”
Really? Ultimatums are bad? “Dump that guy-friend or else!” Why would your wife-property object to that? Here is a better one. Anytime anybody tries to change you, run for the hills.
And be honest? What if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship with a jealous jackass that sees nothing wrong with judging you for wanting to spend time with your friends, so you respond by not mentioning it. Maybe there are good reasons to leave some things unsaid, or better yet, cut the controlling jerk-off loose. If you have to make all these compromises, like give up your friends, why would you want to be in that relationship anyway?
Then they toss those insecure husbands a bone by telling them how great it is for your wife to have a friend to go shopping with her. I know that I have male friends so that we can all go hang out at the mall together. We girls just love to shop soooo much.
So you see why everything is a tool of the patriarchy? Gender brainwashing is absolutely everywhere, otherwise CNN would not waste their time reminding everybody that women and men are sooooo different and can’t be friends because they will be too busy having teh secks.
I wasted far too much time on this crap. I should have just hit the back button when I had the chance.
