The things that go through my head

Not only is it sexist but it’s mind-rotting trash. But this clip made me lol.

Have you read Twilight? The totally awesome four book series about a gawky teenage girl named Bella who totally falls head over heels in love with Edward the super sexy control freak stalker vampire. All the young girls just love this book. When Bella and Edward break up at one point in the series, Bella loses the will to live. There is no reason to live if you break up with a man! Suicide is your only option. Or this song.

I wonder if I was like this when I was knocked up. I sure hope not.

Just in case you needed a laugh.

Just ask Stewey and Brian.  They will sing you a song all about it.

Thanks to Pete at Drugwarrant I finally get to see this clip.  I read about this song all over the intertubes but this is the first time I actually watched it.

Sarah Haskins’ link, since the embed function refuses to work on this blog.

Commercials are the reason that I don’t watch television. Except for Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel. They rule so much. You can always count on Animal Planet to deliver some extremely awesome octopus videos. Octopuses are such an excellent species. They never warmonger or lock up other members of their species for smoking the wrong plants. I suppose it is rather difficult to smoke anything underwater though.

I’m going to hell.

Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor. I applaud the people who created this toy for finally being hip to our changing times. Little children need to be aware that not all smiling faces and uniforms are friendly. I noticed that my child is now more interested in current events. Just the other day he asked me why we had to forfeit so much of our liberties and personal freedoms and I had to answer “well, it’s because the terrorists have already won”. Yes, they have won.

I also highly recommend the Playmobil “farm fencing” so you can take your escorted airline passenger away and fence him behind bars as if he were in Guantanamo Bay.

This is a customer product review for Playmobil Security Check Point. Check it out.

At first I was horrified that this product even exists. Then I was horrified that there are actually parents out there that would buy this toy for their child to play with to help them fear the terrorist hoards properly. But then I remembered that my very own baby brother wiled away many hours playing with his GI Joe’s. They are ACTION FIGURES not DOLLS because dolls are gross and girly and action figures aren’t. So long story short, in a world inundated with gross garbage, I should really not have been surprised.

Maybe next year I will buy this for them for Christmas. I would get PARENT OF THE YEAR for sure, if I did that.

I have heard about the mythological Chick Tracts exclusively on the internets. I had seen them made fun of on many blogs and forums but never have I had the chance to see them in real life. This Chick tract came to my house on Friday in an envelope marked IMPORTANT. I knew I couldn’t delay opening this piece of mail. Let me just say, Thanks Chick Tract religious groupies! Your cute and funny comics really made my day. I turned it into a lesson to my child about religious cults.

“Mommy, do people really believe these crazy lies?”

What can I say to a question like that?  Yes, yes they do.

Anyway, if you want to read the tract that I got, here is a link. I didn’t manage to make it all the way through, as the delusions contained in this book made my head hurt after the first page.  Enjoy!